There really isn't any content here regarding Martin and his filthy, awful Washingtons? No one has mentioned the fact that he's second fiddle to the mighty Steele? No one even peeped about the contributions he's made to the environment, on multiple levels, through his vasectomy?



Well, that just doesn't seem right.

UPDATE 3/13: Martin, it seems, has a bigger penis than Steele. According to sources working under condition of anonymity (Chico), such was confirmed last Saturday, after a game of "Pin the Tail on the Mexican." Martin, having pinned himself closest to the brown-town bulls-eye, found himself suddenly in the limelight, as his fearsome erection broke loose from the rubber bands and fishing hooks holding it back to the skin of his crotchal pouch, much like those tiny fellas did to Gulliver all those years ago in his years as a traveler.

Steele, ever eloquent, was quoted as saying "I can't believe it! Yours is actually visible to the naked eye!" And in doing so, the battle was lost: in the land of the blind, Steele's eyes make him king, but with the lumber Martin's apparently swinging down low, he's that kingdom's conscience. Sleep well, loyal subjects...